Wednesday, October 26, 2011

Tales of the Maha comparisons

Comparisons....... The word itself irritates me........ And have been in company of few who have been constantly on the throt doing it.........

When I was growing up, I would see many of my close relatives compare their children's report cards and extra circulars constantly with others. It would give them a chance to show off, their child's intelligence, in turn their intelligent lineage........... and the lineage just limited to them, not even their parents.............. Thankfully, my parents never did that or never compared our results with others or praise/boast us in front of others.....They wanted others to praise us after they see or know, what our talents were.........

Since we grew up in many places, me and Ashok were always neutral to any matter, issue or situation... Not that we wanted to play safe or something..... Just that we would understand the things from both sides of the coin before considering anything.... I would be the person who would give most number of chances to a person and not making conclusions on his/ her characters at all...... We knew how a person would feel or behave in a situtation which was favoring or not favoring them...

When I came down to Bangalore, same things started happening again......When I joined my first job, it was a small CA firm... My colleagues started constantly comparing my behaviour with the girls who stayed in Bangalore........not that I was outrageous or too much extrovert....I wanted to be friends with them and wanted to hang out with them....as someone new in city does....... And yes, I was not like the traditional girls of Bangalore, who will get back home by 7, but leave home as early as 2.00 am in morning, if they want to earn money in BPO and call centre...... I could not adjust to such double standards and moved on.......

My cousin brother was  then in college...... He also studied commerce like I did and his father would always compare his final results with his cousin brother....... My uncle would not understand the importance of not comparing a commerce guy's report card to a science guy's report card.......... he may be intelligent in one way, but my uncle never realised what special and extra qualities his own son had....... My cousin always stayed under constant fear of his dad, until he decided to take matters in his own hand and start earning.......It gave him much required break and a confidence in him, to atleast face his father's constant bickering............. This is what happens, when one do not realise what their own children have......

Then came my corporate working life and introduction to the new set of people..in fact various kinds of them....few boasting about themselves, few revealing how they are not bothered about any rules which were to be followed in office, few drawing comparison charts with their now and then companies, few bragging about their superiority in corporate....... but one funny part was,we all started at the same levels.....

I was always comfortable, with both set of people, so called "Northies" & the "Southies"....... I never made any distinction between them.but found it really amazing to see that even at corporate level the favoritism does exist.."Northies" move around "Northies" and "Southies" ganged up with "Southies"........and in that also, region wise,north, north east, west groups and the eternal south group........ Since I fitted into both categories, I would hear both side of stories and it was kind of funny to know how thinking changes with region........

Here too, inevitable comparisons would be drawn.... " My village is far more better than Bangalore...we get everything there...... the customs here are strange......" and I would think, but then if your village had everything, why did she come to Bangalore from so far a place, that reaching there itself took 40 hours journey............ With southies, prolonged argument that how Chennai or Vizag is more superior than Bangalore...........

Now a days, I just smile off at the talks these same set of people have to say again and again........  Its just not  comparisons that irritate me, but the fact that people are ready to adjust in foreign much better than they do in their own country........

What satisfaction does people get when they make such comparisons.....I agree the term needs to be used at certain places, like say in comparing sales figures for two months.... but why and what do people get when they make comparisons in personal lives, whether it is in office, a place, a habit, studies or a person's mere personality.........

Every person, place, food, culture, habit, attitude is unique..... why spoil so much abundance in the country by mere comparisons......... why not learn to appreciate its own origin form and enjoy it....... Because the only person who feels miserable after the whole process is one who is complaining as they cannot enjoy the best of what they have for that moment ................. Every one comes with their own destiny or fate ,already written, then why add to someone's pain by these cheap gimmicks........

3 comments:

  1. A good study of people around. Mother SHARADA practiced only one thing in her life : "not to criticize any body" and become universal Mother. Comparison is only for criticism. Not by doing so man can become GOD. Every body should remember it.
    Papa

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  2. Yes...Comparison word irritates to all and even to me!! Even in our family...it happens always they compare with brother and sisters or with cousin or friends. Comparison is gud in some matters but not all the time.. Many will take that in positive and some nagative,they might get hurt. Gud one prit:-)

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  3. Even I have been thinking how to come out of this comparison episode and often get scoldings from my teenage daughter when I make the same mistake unknowingly.....with a boy next door.But i feel one has to face this through out life from the marks card of pre-nursery to CET ranking where percentile is comparison based ,to the extent even some parents say that "my second son is very bright and rich compred to my other kids "sometimes. In this world every thing is relative and I dont think we can escape from this in near feature

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