Thursday, April 11, 2013

Why cant I be myself anymore?

Have you asked this question to yourself anytime? Why so? Under what circumstances or situations did you ask this? But first things first. Why aren't you yourself anymore?

Now that the question is on the table, why do you think we are not being ourselves anymore? Social pressure, certain expectations from loved ones, peer pressure at work?

I am feeling the same a lot these days. There is something which holds me back to do what I want to. An inner conflict always takes place between my head and heart if I should do that thing or not. My mind rationalizes while my heart yearns for it. To add to that, there are so many external factors to take care of.

Like at work, we all are expected to behave in certain way. Even if you are not that person, you are made to do that. Saying No to your managers or disagreeing means a bullet on your chest, isn't it. So we keep quiet, unless we are in position to demand/ command. Job safety, career prospects holds us back.

At college or schools, friendships and loyalties keep us from telling the truth, even if you know that is the right thing to do. Fear of losing popularity, dependency of friends or friendships in all, keeps us away from what we think or believe in.

At family circuits, we restrain ourselves to the maximum, for the want of having a social cliques to move around. We end up giving politically correct answers and show innocence in matters where one is forcibly dragged into, though heart screams to end the problems, we are worried about our image in our circle. Fear of losing relationships or hurting someone in the family, keeps us away from being what we think.

Actually these were few situations which everyone undergoes at some point or the other. Is this the true issue, the ones which I quoted? If yes, think hard. I know you are again refraining yourself.

True isn't it?
I think, issue is the after effect of anything we say, do or believe in. If we are true to ourselves and say it out loud, we are afraid that we, for sure, will end up hurting someone or complicate situation further. It is not what we say or do, but the fear of cleaning up or having to deal with aftermaths which keeps us from being who we are. We all chose easy way out to agree and not be ourselves than take difficult road to be original and unique.

I know at some point of time everyone, would have tried to be honest. For some it was good timing and worked in their favor ; for some a disaster beyond imagination. But, did you have the feeling of burden shifting off your shoulders? Yes. It does. It helps you give confidence that you are capable enough to deal with it, no matter what you do, say or think.

If you are unsure of what to do, take time to think it through and then do it. If you know what you have to do and have decided upon something, then do exactly that. Our choices and decisions often take a backseat when we know a confrontation is inevitable. But because of the fear, do not give up on what you believe.

It’s just not lame when people say, “Believe in yourself. Do what is correct and right according to you. Stand by your belief”

Fear of acceptance is the biggest single factor which mauls over all the logic and reasoning. For that I have a solution. Do not be afraid of who you are. Just because you want to impress someone, do not depart from what you actually are. Then you become someone else, except you and you can never be at ease with that in mind.

The phrase is well said, repeated and hammered into our minds, but do take a minute to think about it.

“Our choice of action shows what we are”

So after reading this, what is it going to be?

Being yourself or someone else

Something to think about?

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